Sick Day

We've been gone a while (more than a month!), but we'z back now. Not that anything 'specially good or bad happened. We just was too busy havin' fun.

Today I have a post appropriate for the SEASON. The FLU SEASON, that is. (Ha, everykitty thought I meant Christmas season.)


We are asking an important question about essential kitty duties: What is your purrsonality when it comes to taking care of sick beans?

Here's what happened to us:
On Monday night, Grandma and Mama started barfing. But when they barf, they don't feel better, they feel worse. I don't get it. Barfing always makes you feel better. Worse things happened. Then before we knew it, they were in bed and wouldn't get out. Here's how we took control of the situation (cuz you all know male-beans is useless).

Scout is indifferent. She doesn't do sick people. She's afraid of going into the bedroom and won't stick around to comfort a sickie if her life depends upon it. Pretty much this is what she did the whole time. Oh, and she grumbled that routines were messed up because Grandpa doesn't do things right.





Simone is the nursemaid. She has to make the rounds and check in on everyone at regular intervals. She won't stay long though, because she's got a lot to do. Two sick people to take care of is a lot for an old lady like her. She hardly spent any time at all in her chair. She was up and down the stairs, on and off the beds. Saying, "Are you ok, Are you ok?" She licks beans to test for fevers and paws at them to make sure they are still alive under all the blankies.





I am the angel. I am so good to sick people, I can hardly stand it. I sleep by them, I love 'em, and I watch out for 'em. That's all there is to say about that.

Mama: Excuse me Peach?! You are an opportunist. Why don't you tell the truth about how you are around sick people?

Ok, I admit. I work hard all day at my job. I don't have time to come home to sick people. So, I coincidentally crash on the bed. So what? It's the thought that counts. I also really like it when beans are sick because they can't defend themselves. It's a free for all on everything in the sick room---the glasses on the nightstand, earplugs, pills, bookmarks, oh, and you can't forget my favorite, the straws. I love the straws. Even if they are germy.

Now I wanna know, what is your purrsonality?

p.s. it is important to distinguish a stomach virus from flu virus. Everybuddy tell your beans to get Flu shots.

Tuxie Tuesday: Neighbors

Today I am going to introduce my Neighbor and local TWIN, "Scouty II"/"Mittens"". Nobody really knows what her name is. She lived with a family and then they moved away and left her behind. The lady next door to that inhumane family took "Scouty II" in and named her Mittens. So, she responds to Mittens. But I call her Scouty II. She's my Twin. She's a few years younger than me and is just now starting to fill out in the grand tuxedo burrito shape.
Here she is the gorgeous girl:
And here's me again, for comparison. See, we're like sisters. But her fur is rougher and her eyes are yellower and my tail is more of a "radar" than hers.

Thursday Thirteen: The Dalai Lama is a my kinda guy

BY SCOUT

Last night I was watching my favorite program, The Newshour, or maybe it was my second favorite program, ABC Evening News. As you know, I like the music and the lap time. Last night there were quilts too! In any case, I saw the most interesting story that I just had to post about.

I am convinced that there are many interesting things about the Dalai Lama. Here's what I learned.

1. He's not a Llama. (Is your mama a llama?) . But rather a Lama, meaning spiritual teacher or guru.

2. He is a very gentle and peaceful man. I appreciate that. No need to do anything too quickly or without thought to whom you might hurt.

3. His real home is in Lhasa, Tibet. Dalai Lamas have lived there for squillions of years.

4. But he has to live in Exile. This is very sad. I bet he would like to go home and sleep on his own special chair and not some borrowed chair somewhere in India (where is India, anyway?).


5. He is the reincarnation of the previous Dalai Lama. #14

6. He has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe he saw Yoggie when he went to Sweden to get it.

6. He just got the Congressional Medal of Honor. This ticked off the Chinese. That's O.K. I don't like Chinese food. But then, I'm not too sure what Congress is either.

7. He travels all over the world. Maybe this makes him not miss is bed in Tibet so much. Gotta keep busy.

8. You must refer to him as "His Holiness" out of respect.

9. You can watch is webcasts!

10. He has three commitments (according to his website). First to realize that humans are the same and that we should ease suffering. I think he'd apply this to all creatures.

11. Second, to promote religious harmony. That's a good thing. I've been learning about world religions lately, so I am qualified to give an opinion.

12. Third to free Tibet so he can be reincarnated there. Yep, there's no place like home.

13. And best of all, he's a USC Fan. Fight On!

Simone and Scout on FRENEMIES

Scout: Did you notice that picture that Peach posted on Friday? He was sitting in MY chair! Every picture ever posted of me, I'm sitting in that CHAIR with MY BLUE TOWEL.

Simone: Tell me about it. Now you've taken MY spot and I'm forced to stay awake because you snore like an oncoming train. Besides, he'll be along in a few minutes to terrorize us.

Scout: You know what Peach is, he's a FRENEMY. And I'm a Valley Cat, so I should know how to use my slang.


S&S (scowling): Oh, and we're supposed to shameless promote HIS poll and HIS mancat monday column. Just a reminder to participate. Or not. If you'd like to him fail miserably.

Simone's Party Pictures

Simone's Party:

I'm dressed up and I wants to know when the party starts...those old ladies sure are slow!

I'll just work on my box in the meantime. There's always time for ART!

OK, Party People! Let's get this PARTY STARTED!!!!

Why is the Birthday Girl hiding under the car?

A reluctant birthday girl posing (this ribbon is SO STUPID)

Yay! Finally ICE CREAM! (hang on I see Peach out of the corner of my eye)

Mama here: Peach ruined the Party. He attacked Simone and then no one wanted to eat their ice cream. Scout got her fair share later (see below)
Hey!! That's NOT true. I just wanted to see if she had a better flavor than me. Simone is so touchy.

Scout feels very voluptuous in her Ribbon. Scout partied too hard. She's hung-over.

Mancat Monday: Is anyone out there?

Dear Peach Man,
Is anyone out there? I love to watch your endeavors crash and burn.
Love,
Scout


Dear Scout,
Thanks. Actually you are the only one who submitted a question this week. However a quick google of "advice for cats" turned up some funny links my loyal readers may like to peruse.

1.

Useful Advice for Cats: How To Care For Your Human

2.

Expat Focus > > Forums > > Europe > > Hungary > > Safety advice ...

Safety advice for cats in rural Hungary

3.

feline advisory bureau charity uk animal advice for cats and kittenscats and kittens rescue charity cat protection league animal shelters rehoming moggies and other cat and kitten breeds in the uk.

um, eric or flynn, or anybuddy else, what is a MOGGIE???? Oh, wait. Jofish sez it is a "britishism" for CAT. There we go. I don't have to ask questions on my own advice column, no I don't. And google confirms it is a term for stray or cats of undefined breed.

Many happy returns, as the "British" say.

P-Man

Tuxedo Tuesday: BY SCOUT

I've finally taken over Peach's blog for a day. Well, if I can manage to stay awake long enough. You know how it is. Simone (who visits Miss Peach a lot) told me about the MEME over there and I just had to do it fo my first Tuxie Tuesday. So here goes, SCOUT'S INFORMATION PLEASE

INFORMATION PLEASE!!!

1} Favorite season? I live in L.A., it's always summer here.

2} Favorite colors? Black and White (duh!).

3} Favorite room? The one with the TV, my chair, my ottoman, and my Ma.

4} Do you like dogs? Heck, NO!

5} Ever been in an airplane box? No way!!! That's for Peach.

6} Do you have the get bathed? No way, Jose! Just you try and see what happens! Every now and then they wipe me with kitty wipes to try to help my dandruff and I HATE it. But Ma says I have enough dandruff to bread a pork chop.

7} Are you in love? Does cheese count?

8} Where would you like to travel to? Around the room and back.

9} What do you ignore? Peach. He ticks me off.

10} How many lives have you used up? Only one. When I had my kittens and then came to live in my furever home. Since then, I don't take any risks.

11} Do you have any dark secrets? If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

12} What is your favorite holiday? I don't like holidays. People come over and disrupt my routines.

13} Water or milk? Cheese.

14} Why do you blog?Uh, I just take over Peach's blog to annoy him. Plus, I'm very chatty and it's another way to express myself.

15} Are you into extremes? Do I look like a daredevil to you?

16} Favorite TV shows? The Newshour with Jim Lehrer (I like the music) and a close second, BBC News because it means, it's 5pm and time to sit down with my Ma. Other shows that Ma tells me "Scout it's your favorite show": anything that anybody is watching.

17} Are you a pesty lap cat? Oh, yes. A pesty, heavy lap cat. I resent when Ma works on her Swedish Weaving or handsewing because then there's no place for me. Except I don't like it when people wear shorts and I have to sit on bare legs. Yech.

18} Inside or outside cat? Both. I only walk down two houses to my "laughing spot", lounge on the back steps, and go out front to get the newspaper. I don't do anything dangerous. That's why I don't have to wear a leash like Peach does. I'm supposed to get more exercise because I have developed arthritis in my left leg and I limp if I sleep too long. I think exercise is overrated though, both indoor and outdoor.

19} What makes you happy? Brushing. I love brushing. Also cheese. And sleeping.

20} Your most embarrassing moment? I'm a perfect cat. I don't have embarrassing moments.


Now you know lots about me. And you can see that I should sue Peach for slander and libel if I could get organized. Me and Simone want to form an anti-Peach club, but we can't stay awake long enough to put it together. We're a lot of talk and no action. Maybe some you can help us!

Mancat Monday

Today I am so tired from my advenchur yesterday. That's why I wasn't online much. I went outside without my leash and forgot all about weekend blogging! Didya hear that! Sans leash! FREE TO DO WHAT I WANT, ANY OLD TIME, as the Rolling Stones say. Oh, yes. Grammy felt sorry for me. She said there weren't too many dogs out on the lake, the weather wasn't too hot, and besides, she'd be sitting there all day anyways.
Here's the trick you guys: Just get yourself all tangled up in the lead, look real pathetic, and whine. Pick the weakest bean in your family. That's how to get free! I'm telling ya.

Of course, today the door won't open and I can't figure out why. Mama said if I had a frontal lobe I could figure these things out, but I don't got one, so I'm stuck in a never-ending present. That's ok. I like my life.

I'd also like to clarify. Scout's a widebody. I some of you cats thought she was just fluffy. But she's not. She's a fatty fatty. All 13lbs of her. Here's a better picture of her girth. She's on her favorite chair with the new blue towel (it got bleach on it by mistake, so it's hers before the beans even used it more than twice).

I think I must be the only Mancat who tells it like it is. Scouty is "good gentle soul" sez Mama, but she's also big. This means she can beat me up too, when she feels like it. The other day she chased ME down the stairs. Usually I'm the boss, as you know.

Now I gotta go see if I can that door to open...

Saturday Caturday

Yesterday I couldn't post cuz mama didn't even let me turn on the computer. She didn't even let me go OUTSIDE. I just had to stay inside all day. Everybody went and got in the car and gramma told Scout to "hold down the fort." Then they didn't come back til late and said it was STILL too hot for a hairy guy like me to go outside. By the time it wasn't too hot they was all sitting on the couch watchin' tv, so no way was I going outside.

It is NOT FAIR. You know who gets to go outside--SIMONE. I don't know how she gets through the door. No matter how much I cry and scratch that door won't open for me. But Simone is always on the other side of it. Mama sez Simone is more reliable. But not yesterday she wasn't. Yesterday Simone went out the back and came in the front ALL WET. You'd think she'd know that when the sprinkler goes on you run! Sheesh. How dumb is that girl? Mama laughed so hard! At first she though I pushed Simone into the water bowl (why do I always get blamed first?) but then she figured out what happened and laughed and laughed. And then gave Simone her pill. What a bad morning for Simone. No pikture tho, I couldn't find the camera. But she was wet and skinny and you all know what that looks like!

Today I get to go outside because gramma is sewing all day and doesn't want me in the way too much. Plus grandpa feels SORRY for me and takes me outside. Mama sez she feels sorry for me, but NOT THAT SORRY. She'll get over it. Maybe I shouldn't bite her feet in the morning when she has a headache. But who can resist feet under the covers?

MY FIRST POST

I juz red about Skeezix's blog and said to my mama that I had to have my own. I don no Skeezix, but his blog is cool and he liks fashion, juz lik me! I will post about my liv of fashion later. For today juz introduze myself. I am gorgeous. I am beautiful. I have the best tail of any cat on the planet. I should know. I travel and see things.

I juz got back to L.A. from THE BIG ROAD TRIP. U can see the pikturs at the website of Jofish. The best of all is the trick I pulled getting into the bed springs when Jofish and my mama wanted to chek out of the hotel. They kuldn't find me anyware. He took lots of pikturs of boring things lik the painted desert and the cadillac ranch, but there are some pikturs of ME and Simone.

Simone is the other cat. She is an OLD ladey. She is as old as dirt. Older. Older than even Scout (who is rilly old). She iz one eyed and skinny. Scout is fat. She is a blob. I lik invading her houze. Today she went on the roof. She must be suicidial . I have that effekt on peopl.