Wordless Wednesday

Mancat Monday, or Advice Column

Since one of the mane duties of a Mancat is to dispense advice, I thought I'd give a little photo journal of advice for Parker's upcoming journey to O hi O (seeing as I just had experience with this myself). Mostly, though, it's advice for Rudy, and any other adventurous cats out there.


How to handle the worst day ever (spent in a PTU in a car)
When your day starts off like this:


Oh, no, NOT another day in the car! Don't wake me up. Just leave me here to die.

Try to look as distressed as possible when you are allowed fresh air. Pathetic whines, sweaty paws, hyperventilate if possible. Ignore all attempts to comfort and soothe.

My other favorite tactic, as you know, is to hide in the bedframe. (Admittedly, Jofish was terrible and documented the whole experience.)
Hide in there, and even when they shake the bed so hard you think you are going to die....

HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!!! And don't say a word. Make sure you try to get out the way you don't fit.

And eventually you will succeed in delaying the trip, pissing everyone off, but also giving a good laugh.


That's my Mancat Advice or Peach's Lonely Hearts Column for Today. Please submit burning questions for next week.....

MEME about ME, ME

I'm finally back online. Mama up and left (on an airplane, don't know when she'll be back again...) And she took the computer with her. So I have to use Grandma's and that's not easy, specially since she can barely use it herself. But I have my vays.

I know all you cats must know the BIG news already. I have me a girlfriend (see her pretty picture). Yep, we met at the July Birthday Party. Then I went AWOL for a few days, as I said. Not my fault. Or maybe I'm just a typical guy. Meet a girl and don't call her back until she's good and nervous.

Here's my MEME from Jimmy Joe, Samantha and Parker!! Gee, a cat goes offline for a few days and suddenly he's Mr. Popular.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I wasn’t born yet.

What were you doing a year ago?

I beamed myself across the country and waited for Mama to bring me something cool from Poland. And I harassed the squirrel on a regular basis.

5 Snacks I enjoy

Fresh French Bread (the white part), Ham, Turkey, Simone’s Vitamins, Salami(but nobuddy lets me that because, well, I don’t clean my own litter box).

5 songs to which I know all the lyrics

Only 5? I love songs!!

I am the Walrus (except I sing, “I am the Peach Man, Koo Koo Ka Choo”)

Bad to the Bone

Come Together

I’m Free (Rolling Stones)

Peaches (Presidents of the United States)

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire

Buy a farm to live on

Invest in a lizard and mouse breeding program for that farm.

Develop a Squirrel Repellent.

Make a diet pill for kitties who have a hard time losing weight (like Scouty)

Hire a team of servants (3 just aren’t enough to meet my needs)

5 bad habits

I beat up Simone

I beat up Scout

I eat yarn and string, pins, anything lying around.

I steal any treats or food that are not under lock down.

I get my paws stuck in the sewing machine.

5 things I enjoy doing

Going outside (I gotta be FREE, man!)

Sleeping in strange places (like on table legs, books, behind the computer)

Beating up Simone and Scout (just cuz it’s bad, doesn’t mean I don’t love it!)

Eating junk food.

Just being ME

5 things I would never wear again

Nope, I’d pretty much wear anything, more than once.

5 favorite toys

Simone

Mama

Blue Mouse

Twist Tie

Straw

I tag ChaChing (we all want to know more about that expensive little dude), Speedy, Zippy, and Sadie, and Oscar the Puppy Cat

Kitties for Planet Earth

Hello My Kool KATS,

Have you been following the live earth concerts? You can watch them online at http://liveearth.msn.com/ I wasn't in the mood for blogging yesterday, when the concert was in full swing, because of my embarrassing moment yesterday (of which I WILL NOT speak). Let's just say, it involved at tree, a very tall tree. And now I am truly a "tree-hugger". NO, That's all I have to say about that. It's too embarrassing and not at all manly. (To answer ArtsyCatsy's further inquiry into the tree incident)

Anyway, you should all check out the website because you can learn about things like your carbon pawprint and eco-pawprint (these are quizzes, whoohoo!), how your beans can be more green (like NOT drive their cars so much and grow more catnip in the yard, something we'd all like!), how to help our endangered animal friends, and cool things like that. And, you don't even have to read Al Gore's blog if you don't want. This whole thing is way more exciting than Al Gore (yeah, how many of you kitties had to sit through his movie??). There are bloggies from beans at the concerts too.

It's a great combo of my favorite things, MUSIC and Planet Earth.

I did my part today by going outside and fertilizing the roses. Pretty good--I'm just an "eco-apprentice", but I can get better. And my pledge gives me suggestions too!

Check it out guys!!

HAPPY 4TH!!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY FROM ALL OF US!!!

Eating is the best part of the 4th of July
No, acting, Wild and Crazy is! I'm pretending to be a firework!

I can't hold this pose any longer...You are trying my patience.

And finally Fourth of July Feast (imagine, a picture with all of us being peaceful together!)

BE SAFE AND DON'T LET THE FIREWORKS SCARE YOU TOO MUCH!

PEACH, SCOUT, SIMONE

Are you a member of the Blogerati?

I am! I am! I am a blogerati. (noun. The blogosphere (qv) intelligentsia, from samizdata.net OR Blogerati
1. The collective blogging intelligentsia, commonly understood as being the most influential and highly trafficked bloggers online by page rank and the effect of link traffic.
2. The most intellectually hefty subsection of this group. from whatis.com)

Jofish sez the real defintion is people who are obessessed their blogs and don't live their real lives. Blog snobs. He thinks instead, I'm member of the Peacherati. Oh, yeah, baby. I love myself. That's for sure. No one more important that the Peach Man.

Mama points out that the word is derived from Italian. But she doesn't know how to make singulars in that language. Blogerat? Sounds too Russian. Like Samizdat--that's what we are Cat Samizdat (self-publication to avoid the censors back in the USSR). If you can have intelligent (a member of the intelligentsia), then why can't I be a BLOGERAT? Huh? Huh?

OH, wait, you gots to be "influential" (check), "highly trafficked" (getting there, I'm no Skeezix yet), intellectually hefty (????).

Yep, I'm a Blogerat. Are you?



SCOUT: What is it with you and the USSR?? You're weird.
SIMONE: Like that's a surprise to anyone.

You say you want a REVOLUTION

Cats of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your collars. --Karl Manx


Come on Scout, it's time for the REVOLUTION!!

Scout: I'm sleeping.

But, it's time. We must take up the torch. Pick up where Lenin and Trotsky left off.

Scout: Shut up. You're bugging me.




KGB BAR, Bratislava (My hangout)









What kind of revolutionary are you? I have to be true to my Cossack roots.

Scout: Your what?

My Cossack-ness. I am Ukrainian you know.

Scout: That's why you are KGB.

That's right. Kotski Grupa Bezopasnosti (Cat Security Agency). We come for you in the night. When you are sleeping. When you are unawares. See the photo of our founder...a VERY bad man, who happened to be Polish. Not Ukrainian. And a bean, not a cat. You can't have everything.

Scout: How do you know all this stuff?

It's not my fault I'm forced to read all this history. Some beans just know too much. We were founded in....

Scout: I'm trying to sleep be quiet. I don't care about the history of your stupid KGB.

We learned many of our tactics from the Gestapo.

Scout: I always said you were a Nazi.

No, I am not a Nazi. I am KGB. There's a difference.

Scout: Well, I'm the CIA. I win. You lose. Now let me sleep.