Heroes

Mama said to me that she's gonna put me on the 3:10 to Yuma. That's no problem. I've been there twice before. And escaped.

Just like my new Hero, Ben Wade.
We have a lot in common, don't you think?

I'm a dog-attacking MACHINE!

Yo! I attacked my second dog this week. This was a biggie--golden retriever. Boy did I pull ol' fake-out on him. He just thought I was a silly kitty walking along and boom! Charge! Thwack! One shocked puppy on his way.

I'm the coolest.

p.s. Mama joined Facebook, so she's being a computer hog again! I have a Catbook page now though. Big Whoop. Blogs are cooler.

Oh When the SAINTS.....

Check it out! My Team plays today! Rah! Rah! They better win this time....


NEWS FLASH:: I attacked a dog today!! Stupid Mama just stood there laughing her head off--holding her cell phone, so she could have documented my triumphant moment, but she didn't. She's so dumb sometimes.

He also let a baby pet him. What a fool. --Scout.

Pity Party for Peach

Season's First Rain Knocks Out Power, Slows TrafficPOSTED: 6:19 am PDT September 22, 2007 LOS ANGELES -- The first rain of the season always brings more accidents, but not as many during the rainstorm that hit Friday as there might have been, police said Saturday.


SEE THAT HEADLINE KITTY KATS??? It's raining today! What the fuzz? The sun always shines in California! That's what I heard anyway before I agreed to move here. They lied to me. Lied. Lied. Lied. Lied. YOU know what this means?? I can't go outside! What I am supposed to do? Whine Whine Whine.

Mama: Don't worry Peach, we are throwing you a Pity Party.

Scout: Peach it's game day! You know that means you gotta put on your game face. We get to stay in and sit on quilts and watch football and sew and watch Band of Brothers. And I have a new USC blankie to sit on for game time (picture coming later, it's not game time yet, so I haven't sat on it ). It s still not game time, but I was READY and I can do whatever I want today. The day couldn't be any better than this!! I'm having a great day! Enjoy your pity party, dude.

Oh, man. It's gonna be a looonngg day.....

Ahoy Mateys!

Cap'n One-Eyed Simone Here for Meow Like a Pirate Day! First Mate Scurvy Peach is busy swabbing the decks, so there's no pirate-y picture of him.* I ordered 'im to walk the plank, arr. But he parlayed and I had to let him go. ARRGGH! Scout is a land lubber and won't participate.
Instead, I'll post a picture of our Favorite Pirates. Can you guess which one I'm in love with? Here's a hint, He likes to say "Savvy?" and he swaggers like me.
Meow like a pirate all day long me hearties!
Look what we found from Dragonheart--ours Pirate Names!

My pirate name is:

Iron Anne Kidd

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

And Peach:

My pirate name is:

Mad Jack Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

*Cap'n Mama has no clue how to use photoshop, maybe she should walk the plank, arr!!

Mancat Monday: It's all about Me

Maggy and Zoey at Zoolatry made the wonderful pictures of me. I just love to look at pictures of myself, so I'm dedicating today's Mancat Monday to myself. I don't need any advice and apparently no kitties need advice at the moment so, all the more time to look at adoring pictures of Peach Man.

"Boxes of Peaches"

"Peachy Keen"

"The Peach Pit"

Simone and Scout on FRENEMIES

Scout: Did you notice that picture that Peach posted on Friday? He was sitting in MY chair! Every picture ever posted of me, I'm sitting in that CHAIR with MY BLUE TOWEL.

Simone: Tell me about it. Now you've taken MY spot and I'm forced to stay awake because you snore like an oncoming train. Besides, he'll be along in a few minutes to terrorize us.

Scout: You know what Peach is, he's a FRENEMY. And I'm a Valley Cat, so I should know how to use my slang.


S&S (scowling): Oh, and we're supposed to shameless promote HIS poll and HIS mancat monday column. Just a reminder to participate. Or not. If you'd like to him fail miserably.

How I got my name Meme

I am so behind on memes (catnip meme from Sam and Tig, 7 Ps from JJ, and who knows what else) that I thought I'd jump right in here and let you all know how I got my name. This sounded fun and maybe I'll catch up on the others if my paws don't wear out first.

I got my name cuz I'm a PEACH! Mama adopted me from the Tompkins County SPCA and because I was the cutest cat there. That's my version. According her mama, it was because I "reached out and touched someone" (her). I just stretched out my long leg and said, "hey what about me? what do you think lady? am I the cutest bestest manliest one here?" (I still had my h00-haahs). I found my way to the SPCA in a hot pink collar.I was also sooo skinny. 6 lbs. I should weigh 13 for my structure, but I can't get above 11 cuz I'm such a busy guy. I had a bad case of worms that took Mama 2 months to clear up, along with one wrong diagnosis of asthma. I had to take super-turbo-mega dewormer. Not fun. Lemme tell you. Also lost my hoo-hahs. Mama claims I had a high voice before I lost them, but she's wrong. I only became LV (little voice) after that fateful day.
Mama went through lots of potential names, but Peach stuck. She said, he won't be Peaches because everycat is Peaches, just Peach, in the singular. And then one day my Auntie Anne (Jimmy Joe's Mama) decided to sing "I am the Peach Man, koo koo ka choo" to me. Then I was Peach Man. Sometimes, I'm just "the Man", and usually referred to as THE Peach Man, not just plain old Peach Man. I'm also called "Prince" "Peachness", "Peachnik", "Peacher" and "Sir Peachley" and lots of other mean names by the girls that aren't fit for print. On all of my medical records, I'm known as "Peach, DMH"


Ok that was long, I don't have the energy for more memes. I gotta sleep. Been bird hunting all day, man.

Peach Cannot Live By Jello Shots Alone

The late summer and autumn of my discontent is getting better. See this picture of me last week. Remember how B-O-R-E-D I was? I want you to note very carefully how many toys I have. Mama counted 8 toys, plus my box and the attack post (what most of you call, "scratching" post). This is about 1/5 of the toys I actually have. Do you UNDERSTAND now why I have been going out of my mind with nothing to do??

I have hardly had any time to blog since last week because the weather finally changed a little. Also Mama is looking for a J-O-B so she is being such a computer hog. I know what a job is, duh. I have some very important jobs. See me staking out for a day of business. I have v. imp. things to do.
Like make inspections!!! Who knows why this cone is here, but holes in the ground are very tempting. I think I want to take this cone home with me.
I am also a budding Naturalist. I have caught 1 bird per day, that makes 4 fine specimens. I started to collect them in the back yard for my forthcoming museum exhibit, but this morning they were mysteriously gone! Where did they go? No one will answer me. I will have start using state-of-art security measures to protect my specimens. Mama said she wouldn't take pictures. Actually, it was something like "dammit Peach not again!!", and lots of "eeeeww gross" and maybe some "why would I photograph rotting flesh and maggots?" What maggots? Those were quality birds, man. They just needed a few more days to mummify.


In the afternoons, I have some SERIOUS partying to do. But if I tell you who I party with and where I party, I'd have to kill you. It's down the street in the special yard. Mama isn't allowed to take pictures either. It's a secret society. My spotty lips are sealed.

Drunk on jello shots and with too much nip in my system, I have to come home eventually. Then I do things like sleep, try to chew on Ipods, pick on the girls. Nothing wears me down I tell you.

Party on, party kitties!


p.s. I was too busy partying, ahem, working, to do mancat monday. I'll try to be better next week.



P.P.S Check out My POLL

Look! Mr. Hendrix Thinks I'm Nice!

Wow! Hey Mama, Mr. Hendrix thinks I'm NICE! Mr. Hendrix nominated ME for this award because he thinks I perform such a good service to everykitty with my advice column. No more saying to me , "Hey Peach, you're such a Jerk!! I think they made a movie about you." Nope. Not anymore Mama. I'm certified NICE.

Look how pretty it is! I know, sometimes I like girly things. Haven't you seen me dress up? Pink is really not my "color" (it clashes with orange. too bad) but I still love this award.

I want to nominate my sisters for this award because actually they are the nice cats around here. But since we share a blog, it's already posted. Simone is just the nicest with the kiddies as you've seen. Besides, Scout would like to wear her Tuxedo to the award ceremony.

Now for other cat bloggers:

I nominate my buddy Jimmy Joe because, as Mama says, he is the "Great Melon of World Peace" and brings harmony to everyone's lives. Really, he just likes the tummy rubs. But every kitty he meets likes him, so that really says somethings. He's not the hissy type, if you know what I mean.

Also Eric and Flynn because they are trying so hard to be nice to each other these days and have finally succeeded! That deserves a Nice Award!

Simone's Party Pictures

Simone's Party:

I'm dressed up and I wants to know when the party starts...those old ladies sure are slow!

I'll just work on my box in the meantime. There's always time for ART!

OK, Party People! Let's get this PARTY STARTED!!!!

Why is the Birthday Girl hiding under the car?

A reluctant birthday girl posing (this ribbon is SO STUPID)

Yay! Finally ICE CREAM! (hang on I see Peach out of the corner of my eye)

Mama here: Peach ruined the Party. He attacked Simone and then no one wanted to eat their ice cream. Scout got her fair share later (see below)
Hey!! That's NOT true. I just wanted to see if she had a better flavor than me. Simone is so touchy.

Scout feels very voluptuous in her Ribbon. Scout partied too hard. She's hung-over.

Mancat Monday: Dear Peach Man #5 AND Simone's Thank You

Dear Peach Man,
I need your help as a life coach. How can I get my humans to stop picking me up for cuddles? I hate cuddles but I don't want to hurt their feelings.
FAZ

Dear FAZ,
How much do you hate these cuddles? To what extremes are you willing to go make them stop? The first though that came to me was to do the obvious and use your claws and teeths. I'm guessing though, you done this already. And it is just a bit meaner than you are aiming for. So, maybe you need to "kick it up a notch". I think you should try passing gas whenever they cuddle you. Really foul, silent but deadly ones. That way you are smelly, but not smelly all the time like you-know-who AND it appears to be accidental so no hurt feelings. You have to train your humans to associate negative things with cuddles. Or, you could always train yourself to like cuddles. I've been working on this myself over the years. I started by sitting next to my mama and then letting her hold me for 2 seconds and then a little longer and a little longer and pretty soon, I sorta liked it. But still, being held isn't my favorite either, I got better things to do!

Peach Man

Hi Nephew Peach,
this is your Aunt Ellen from California asking some advice on stuffed nostrills withou going to the VET!!! Your senile, arthritic old aunt.
Love ya Nephew Peach Aunt Ellen


Dear Aunt Ellen, I think you should spend extra time in the new bathroom. That way you get the steamy benefits of showers (clear out those sinuses) AND you can sneeze all over the new bathroom and make it yours. That's what I'd do. Showertime, Auntie Ellen!
Peach Man


Simone Here: I know it is Mancat Monday and believe me I wanna stay away from all that Peachy Nonsense, but I do want to thank everyone for their birthday wishes and Nice Presents. It was such a great birthday thanks to you all. I will post pictures on Tuesday, since Scout will let me share Tuxie Tuesday, I'm sure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMONE!!!

Simone's birthday is Today (ok, Saturday, but I'm posting now to give lots of time for Birthday wishes)!! Here's 16 things about her (with help from Mama):

1.Simone was born in 1992. That means she never had to be a communist kitty. But almost.
2. Her dearest wish for her birthday is that I be left outside to suffer heatstroke. Alternately, tied up downstairs or locked in the bathroom.
3. Simone's first owner died and that's how she came to Mama.
4. Simone used to have two beautiful eyes, but got a corneal ulcer. Now she has ONE beautiful eye.
5. Her nickname is "The One-Eyed Wonder"
6. Simone used to have a brother named Gunther, but he died shortly after they came to the SPCA. Gunther looked just like me.
7. Simone loves to ride in the car.
8. Simone loves to give headbutts and slimes. So much that Mama gets annoyed with her.
9.She has discovered the joys and benefits of daily yoga in her old age.
10.Her favorite treat is Chicken.
11.But her favorite flavor of cat food is Beef.
12.Simone licks beans to tell them she loves them. This is kind of gross.
13.Simone loves to take in the morning sunshine. I think everyone knew this already.
14.She never liked to be brushed until just a few months ago.
15.Simone has a very scratchy and tiny voice. You can hardly hear her sometimes. But she can sure purr!
16. Simone likes to live her life to the fullest! And this means meeting new people, going new places, and trying new things. She's a brave kitty.


Even though I pick on her, I'm still glad she's around! Happy Birthday Old Lady!
From Peach (And Scout and Mama)

P.S. Simone still has a cold. That suks to have a cold for your birthday, so she needs extra luv.